


The Bachelor

by EndoratheWitch



Series: Gotham Nights [26]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Batman: The Animated Series, Harleen - Fandom, Suicide Squad (2016), The Joker - Fandom
Genre: Bachelor, Blind Date, Clowns, F/M, Joker and Harley in a loving relationship, Light BDSM, Looking for love, Oral Sex, Semi-Public Sex, Smut, The Iceberg Lounge, a murder, crazy clowns, murderous clowns, tinder dates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-28
Updated: 2020-01-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:48:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22444339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EndoratheWitch/pseuds/EndoratheWitch
Summary: Harley and Joker decide to help Frost find a date.
Relationships: Joker (DCU)/Harleen Quinzel
Series: Gotham Nights [26]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/551110
Comments: 19
Kudos: 29





	The Bachelor

Harley wore a pink, rabbit eared onesie and sat on the couch in the small living room of the hideout that she and Joker shared--the Ha Ha Hacienda as her puddin liked to call it--watching The Bachelor while Joker was in the shower. She grabbed a handful of popcorn, shoving the entire handful into her mouth then quickly followed with a gulp of chocolate milk before washing the entire thing down. That was when she heard Joker’s voice emanate loudly from the shower. “It’s raining men!!” 

She giggled when she heard Joker singing at the top of his lungs. 

“It's raining men, hallelujah, it's raining men, amen 

I'm gonna go out to run and let myself get 

Absolutely soaking wet!!” 

She shook her head with amusement as she reached over and picked up the remote, turning the volume up slightly, but Joker only sang louder--which meant he was doing it on purpose. She giggled some more and gave up. She couldn’t get mad at him because he was adorable and she loved him. And she knew how much he hated The Bachelor show. Instead, she took another large gulp of her chocolate milk and sat back listening to him serenade her from the shower. 

After a few more seconds of his singing, she heard the water turn off. Harley could hear him moving around then the door opened to allow a cloud of moisture to roll out from the shower, followed by Joker. 

Harley turned to see him standing naked in the doorway. The light from the bathroom made his pale skin glow and illuminate the cloud of moisture that surrounded him. He had a red towel over his shoulder, his legs spread, his hands on his hips in a classic Superman pose that Harley had seen the flying freak take on nearly every image of him coming out of Metropolis. 

Joker’s grin was bright, freshly painted on, and spread across his face. His still slightly damp hair was beginning to curl in thick green waves as he asked in a clear, loud voice, “Tell me Harley, who am I?!” 

Harley giggled taking in his naked, slightly wet body with a warm rush of pleasure. She loved seeing him naked. She loved the slender and firm muscles of his arms, his long, elegant fingers. Following the lines of his body down, over his athletic chest, down further… 

Oh, she loved the way his body tapered down from his chest, down his flat stomach to where his hips tapered down to his groin, and her favorite spot--that smooth run of flesh between his stomach and penis. Her gaze continued, taking in his long, slender legs with their well-defined muscles. She liked that he was smooth everywhere, and the ghost white unblemished skin…. 

Her groin ached as she looked at him. She felt a flash of hot wetness gush between her legs, while her nipples were tight and sensitive, begging for his mouth on them. 

Harley took a deep breath before she tilted her head to study him, taking her time to enjoy her naked puddin when she said with a frown. “Uh, Superman?” 

Joker looked offended, one hand coming up to press against his chest as if Harley had wounded him with a dagger to his head. “GASP!! Harley!! No!! Bizarro!! Why would you think the overgrown boy scout? I’m the opposite of that flying purity ring!!” He snickered. “Bizzaro is much more my speed and the big fella has the most attractive coloring don’t you think?” 

Harley giggled. She always found it hilarious when Joker said gasp out loud instead of actually gasping. “No, I don’t. I think you do.” 

Joker grinned at her, his blue eyes bright. “Ha! You realized it was a trick question didn’t you? Good girl. Of course I’m the most attractive!” 

Harley put her arms out, making grabbing motions with her hands. “Yes you are puddin. Now stop teasing and come here.” She shoved the old beat up coffee table they had out of the way to make room for him to stand in front of her while the show droned on in the background. 

Joker grinned and sauntered over to her, taking the time to adjust his towel to hang over his shoulders like a cape, held in place around his throat by his hand. “Why yes, honest and defenseless, yet very attractive citizens, what can I, the man of steel…” He spoke in a deep voice and when he had stepped in front of Harley he thrust his hips at her emphasizing the word “steel” at the same time. “...do for you?” He gazed down his long nose at her, his eyes twinkling. 

Harley giggled pressing her teeth into her bottom lip, her eyes moving with purpose from his face down to his groin. “Well Superman, you can let me suck on your…” 

“GASP!!” Joker said the word in a loud voice and put his finger down to cover her lips. “Such language!” 

Harley giggled and licked his finger. 

Joker lifted a green brow at her, smirking as he removed his finger. 

Harley forgot all about her show as she reached up to lay her hands on his slender hips. She kept her eyes looking up at him as she leaned in and pressed her lips to his right hip bone, then his left. She slowly dragged her lips across his stomach, one hand caressing his flat, muscled tummy, spreading her fingers so she could touch more of him. At the same time, Joker slowly pushed her hood off, allowing her long blonde hair to fall free. 

Harley giggled and smirked up at him as she gave her head a shake, letting her golden hair fall more alluringly around her shoulders. 

Joker let out a low breath. “You look beautiful.” 

Harley smiled sliding her hands up his sides, then over his bare stomach, then down again. “You are so handsome,” she whispered, one hand flowing down to wrap around his shaft. “You’ll always be my favorite super villain,” she hissed, wetting her lips before slowly running the tip of her tongue along his semi-hard erection. 

Joker groaned deeply, then chuckled. “Super villain, I like that.” 

Harley teased the head of his erection, rolling her tongue along the satin flesh before wrapping her lips around him, tugging just a little when she sucked before licking him again. She gradually lowered her mouth halfway down his length, then pressed her lips against him. His erection was warm in her mouth and his skin smelled of vanilla and cotton candy body wash. She growled with pleasure, lowering her mouth further, slowly taking all of him into her mouth. 

Joker dropped his towel to the floor so that he could caress his fingers through her hair, jerking slightly at the intense sensation of her lightly dragging her teeth over his skin. She caused another shudder of pleasure when she lowered her mouth down further until her nose brushed against him, then she slowly pulled her lips back, her tongue doing a sensual snaking back and forth on the underside of his shaft. 

“You are my favorite citizen,” he purred. Harley giggled with him in her mouth. He enjoyed the vibration of her giggles as the vibration moved along his erection and up through his body. He groaned softly while he gazed down at her with a big grin. 

Harley hummed softly, focusing her attention on the head of Joker’s erection again, lightly nibbling and caressing him with her tongue. She used her hand to rub up and down while she focused on the head of his erection, enjoying the feel of him becoming harder and thicker in her hand. With her other hand, she reached around to caress his tight little rear, which she adored. She held him gently with one hand while she nibbled and licked her way down the side of his erection, followed by her ducking her head so that she could lightly lick his balls while she continued to stroke her hand up and down his length. 

Joker jerked in surprise, his eyes rolling up a bit as she continued to lick and suck at his testicles in a way that made his right leg wanted to jerk like a dog when their owner found a particularly nice place to rub. 

He grunted. “Damn Harls…” 

Harley giggled, licking her way back up his length, then smiled up at him. “You like?” 

Joker chuckled and caressed her cheek. “I always like what you do sweets. You have a very talented tongue.” 

Harley wrinkled her nose playfully at him. “I always like what you do to me puddin.” 

Joker grinned wider. “Well then favored citizen, I say you get naked right now.” 

Harley grinned. “Oh you do, do you?” 

Joker nodded and lips twisted into a smirk. “Oh I think it might be the only way I can save you is if you take off all your clothing.” 

Harley giggled and grabbed the zipper of her onesie, leaning back against the couch cushions. “What do you think I might be wearing underneath puddin?” She smirked raising a blonde eyebrow at him. “Maybe you should use your x-ray vision?” 

Joker smiled. “Well I’m hoping nothing at all sweets, and phooey, x-ray vision? I bet that overgrown boy scout doesn’t even put his talents to good use, but I will say, x-ray vision is boring. It's far more exciting to find out what’s inside with an explosion, a knife...or your fingers.” He gave Harley a wicked grin. She burst out laughing at his expression and eyebrow lift. 

He stepped out of the way so that Harley could stand. She gave him a playful smile as she pulled the zipper down, the cloth parting to show naked, rosy skin underneath. Joker watched while she took her time, dragging the zipper all the way down with agonizing slowness. His eyes followed the line of silver. Watching her smooth, soft skin come into view made his groin throb at the sight of her. Harley was delicious, like every piece of sweet cake, pie, candy rolled into one. His breath became ragged as she slowly pulled the onesie off one shoulder, sliding her arm free and revealing not just her arm but one perky breast, her hard nipple a dark rose color. Seeing her breast caused him to bite his lower lip to stop from moaning. Harley was simply the most beautiful woman in Gotham, anyway, and she was his!! His girl...his Harley. 

She slowly revealed her other breast, the golden curls of her hair falling over her chest, her nipples peeking through and making him think of tiny, candied roses. Joker watched the onesie fall to the floor at Harley’s feet, showing that she was completely naked underneath. 

His eyes traveled down from her breasts, over her flat stomach, along her hips, and down her long, shapely legs. She was a treat, he thought with pleasure; his treat and no one else's. 

Harley smiled seductively and whispered. “Oh, please save me Joker....I’m in desperate need of being fucked silly.” 

Joker put his hands on his hips, thrusting out his erection at her (causing Harley to giggle). “Fear not favored and most beautiful citizen. Super Joker is on the case, here to bang your pretty little brains out!!” 

Harley squealed as Joker rushed her, grabbed her up off her feet and flung her over his shoulder before he spun around easily, as if her weight meant nothing to him, and rushed back over to the couch where he dumped her. The couch squealed and squeaked in protest as Harley’s weight hit the cushions, then creaked even louder when Joker’s weight joined hers. He nestled between her legs and caught her mouth in a kiss, a deep, long, passionate kiss that made Harley’s toes curl. She wrapped her arms and legs around him, pulling him closer to feel the warmth of his skin press against her. Joker caught her lower lip with his teeth and gently tugged, his blue eyes bright as he gazed at her. Harley groaned and he released her lips to kiss her chin. Slowly, with Joker’s mouth burning against her skin each time he touched her, he kissed his way down, first her chin, then along her throat, stopping to gently press his teeth against her pulse, his hand coming up to cup her breast. He brushed his thumb in lazy circles against her nipple. Harley sucked in a breath and groaned, arching her head back against the couch’s worn cushion as Joker’s tongue slid down her throat, traced her collarbone while his thumb continued its slow stroking against her sensitive nipple. 

Joker licked her collar, then eased himself lower still. He caught some of her skin in his teeth gently biting her before sliding his tongue along the curve of one of her breasts. She shivered, making a small gasp when Joker’s tongue circled her nipple. 

She dragged her hands along his back to his shoulders, stroking the back of his pale legs with her feet, shuddering, feeling the press of his erection against her as he continued to carefully circle her nipple with his tongue. Harley buried her fingers into the thick curls of his green while he switched his attention to her other nipple, once more doing a slow circle with his tongue, but this time he sucked her nipple into his mouth, sucking and circling the sensitive bud until Harley was writhing under him, dizzy with want. 

He grinned, releasing her nipple only to slowly drag the flat of his tongue over it. His blue eyes danced as he gazed up at her. 

Harley responded with a groan, brushing his green curls back from his face. “Puddin…” she said softly. 

Joker grinned and pushed himself up a little, but not before pressing his lips to her breastbone and slid into her. Harley dropped one leg to the floor with a deep moan of pleasure, feeling him burying himself deeply into her. He grabbed her leg she had dropped on the floor and lifted her limb, adjusted his knees a bit at the same time before he brought her leg up over his shoulder. He pressed his feet against the arm of the couch and thrust into her again, holding himself still, pressing her leg toward her while leaning down to capture her mouth in a passionate kiss. 

Harley grasped his shoulders, groaning against his lips. He was so deep that the sensation made her shudder. “Puddin…” she moaned softly between kisses. “I love you…” 

Joker purred brushing his nose against hers, his lips brushing hers. “I love you pumpkin pie, my sweet murderous kitten.” His laugh was low and sexy, causing Harley to moan with pleasure at the sound. He thrust in and out of her, long and deep. The wet sounds of their lovemaking was mixed with their shared muffled moans, peppered with deep groans, and accompanied by the loud squeak of the couch, all drowning out the sound of the television. Harley became breathless, tension building, rolling over her body. She thrust her hips up to meet his thrusts, shuddering each time he pressed against her clitoris. Each time he adjusted his hips slightly, she gasped and threw her head back with a loud moan as her orgasm slammed into her and broke apart. She squeezed his shoulders tighter, holding onto him and riding the orgasm, tension building in her body. Her body went limp and liquid within seconds. 

She whimpered. “Uh, puddin!!” 

Joker buried his mouth against her throat, groaning deeply when he felt her tighten around him. She felt incredible around him, followed by a rush of liquid over his erection. The wet sound of their fucking grew louder. He hissed, leaning in to thrust deeper, he felt as if he was deep into Harley, but not deep enough at the same time. He pressed his face to her throat, whispering against her ear, his erection throbbing, pulsating with each thrust. “Harley...Harley…” 

Harley gasped, feeling him growing harder inside her. “Puddin...uh puddin…yes...yes...” 

He thrust faster, making her cry out again, another climax growing and blooming in a matter of seconds. She felt as if she had melted into a puddle at the moment the Joker tensed, his thrusts graining speed as he climbed toward his own orgasm, panting with each breath. Harley held on tightly to him, finding his mouth again, and kissing him as he slammed into her. She groaned against his tongue, another orgasm building with Joker’s thrusts. When she felt her orgasm about to flood her consciousness, that sudden increase in sticky wetness was followed by a long deep groan from her puddin, and her own orgasm quickly followed. She whimpered holding onto him as he emptied into her, hissing her name. 

“Harley...my Harley…” he whispered into her ear until he collapsed. 

* 

They both lay on the couch unmoving, Joker still buried inside her. He had released her leg which Harley lowered, her toes touching the floor. She knew any movement would cause the Joker's now softening erection to slip out of her, so she was careful not to move, she didn’t want him out of her yet--she liked the feeling of him, spent, inside her. 

She sighed in pleasure, stroking her hands up and down his sides while Joker kissed her shoulder. He whispered against her skin. “I took a shower for nothing, you got me all dirty again Harls.” 

Harley giggled, rubbing her cheek against his cheek. “You are so silly,” she whispered. 

From the television a voice droned and Harley turned her head to see the screen. 

“You all look so beautiful.” The guy, some average blond guy Harley thought, picked up a rose from a large pile of roses while addressing a room full of glamorous looking women wearing evening gowns. 

Joker shifted, which caused him to slide out of her--much to Harley’s disappointment--but he didn’t get up. Instead, he just moved down a bit so that he could lay his head between her breast, his legs bent at the knee so that his feet were in the air and crossed at the ankles, one hand tucked under her. His free hand rested on her breast, his elbow hanging on the couch. 

“So what’s going on?” he asked, nuzzling her breast as he watched. 

Harley motioned with her chin. “Well, the bachelor, that’s the blonde guy of course, gives a rose to each of the women he wants to stay on the show and date him.” 

Joker frowned watching the show. After the bachelor gave the women roses, there would be a clip of said woman going on about how she could see her falling in love with the man handing them out, or how devastated she would be if she didn’t get a rose, or why they didn’t want to go home, or being nasty about other women. Yadda, yadda, yadda he thought, then there was a dramatic pause as the man went for the final rose. 

Joker muttered, “This is stupid.” 

Harley giggled. “Yeah, it is, but I love all the fake drama. You know they had a female version too.” 

Joker lifted his head to look at her, his brow furrowed. “There is more of this?” He shook his head and laid it back down between Harley’s breasts, muttering. “And they call me crazy.” 

Harley giggled again, the two of them quietly watching the end of the show. 

Harley sighed as the program ended. “You know, I think Frost needs to be on The Bachelor.” 

Joker frowned and kissed her chest. “Why are earth would you think that Harls? What has Frost done to deserve such punishment?” 

“Did you hear how his last date ended badly?” Harley asked, glancing down at his green head. 

Joker looked up. “Frost had a date?” 

Harley nodded. “Yeah, it was some girl he met on Tinder. Apparently the date went well until she asked him over to her apartment and while she was in the bathroom to freshen up, Frost started snooping….” 

Joker shook his head. “Well, that is never a good idea.” 

Harley nodded her agreement and continued. “Anyway, he found a closet that had nothing in it but Barbie doll heads--just the heads. No clothing or shoes, just Barbie heads on all these shelves.” 

Joker frowned with a shrug and kissed her breast. “Sounds normal to me.” 

Harley giggled, tickling her fingers along his sides. “Stop that.” 

Joker shrugged. “Okay so she had an army of plastic heads....” 

“Yeah, well he tried to ignore it and she came back, made him coffee. They talked some more on her couch and then started kissing. Well everything was going well and she said something about putting on something more comfortable. So she didn’t come back for a while and Frost thought something was wrong, so he went to check on her, but he heard her whispering, followed the sounds and found her in that closet talking to the Barbie heads telling them that if they could make him look like a real Ken doll, ‘then he’ll be ours and perfect.’ Well, Frost got out of there real fast.” 

Harley giggled. 

Joker fornwed. “Maybe we should find this chick and recruit her?” 

Harley smacked him playfully on the side. “Hey!” 

Joker snickered, pressing his nose against her skin, brushing his lips against her before he asked. “So, how do you know all this Harley?” 

Harley shrugged. “Bob.” 

Joker frowned, wondering how Bob had communicated that much information without speaking, but then decided he didn’t really want to know. “All right, so our boy Frost had a bad date. So what? It happens.” 

Harley began combing her fingers through her hair while she spoke. “Well, it hasn’t just been one date, puddin. It's been several.” 

Joker sighed, happily relaxing into her touch while Harley stroked his hair, her nails lightly brushing against his scalp. “Maybe he should get himself committed to Arkham, worked for me.” 

Harley giggled, smiling down at him even though he had his cheek pressed between her breasts, his eyes closed. 

“Maybe we should help him,” Harley ventured in a soft tone. “You know, between you, me, and Bob, I’m sure we could find him the perfect girl.” 

Joker sighed softly, not opening his eyes. “I don't know Harls, getting involved in match making...” He opened one eye and smiled. “...might be fun though.” He grinned and closed his eye. “I’m in.” 

Harley giggled, continuing to comb her fingers through his hair. “Good.” 

While they were lying on the couch, Harley’s stroking of his hair began to lull Joker to sleep, when a news flash came on. 

“This just in: the Scarecrow was terrorizing Old Gotham with fear gas this evening until the Batman showed up....” 

Joker’s eyes flew open, his head coming up off of Harley’s chest. “What? I thought Crane was in Arkham? Why didn’t he invite us to his party?” 

Harley giggled. “Well, he is now and besides, would you really want to go?” 

Joker settled back down and Harley began to stroke his hair again. He sighed. “I suppose not, though if I’d known Bats was going to be there…” 

Harley frowned at him. “Shh…” she said and continued to stoke his hair. Joker sighed happily once more settling down. Harley frowned and muttered. “Stupid Bats.” 

* 

The next day Frost was summoned to Joker’s and Harley’s upstairs apartment in the hideout. Frost knocked against the door and heard Harley yell from the other side. “It’s open!” 

Frost pushed the door opened and stepped inside. 

Harley, dressed in black leggings and a white and pink diamond patterned long sleeve top, her hair up in a bun held with black and red sticks, (which Frost knew for a fact were actually very slender daggers that Joker had given her for a gift last Valentine’s Day), was sitting on the couch barefoot and crosslegged with Joker. The Boss was dressed in dark purple and black striped pants with a blood red dress shirt, green bowtie, and purple suspenders. His purple and red dress shoes were polished to a bright shine. Joker was shuffling cards and fanning them out in front of Harley. 

Bob, wearing a rainbow tutu, t-shirt, pants, and a unicorn headband with a rainbow colored unicorn horn, was at the little apartment’s oven stirring something in a bowl while Joker said, 

“Alright my sweets, pick a card.” 

Harley rubbed her hands together, her eyes narrowed at the cards. She reached out carefully and picked one of the cards. 

Joker smiled at her. “All right, study your card and slip it back in.” 

“Ah, you wanted to see me Boss, Miss Quinn?” Frost stepped in and gently shut the door behind him. 

“Just a minute Frosty, I’m doing a trick,” Joker said without turning to look at him, his eyes on Harley and her card. 

Harley stared daggers at the card then slipped it back in with the others in Joker’s hand. He chuckled and began to shuffle the cards; he did the shuffling with skill and flamboyance to Harley’s delight before he brought all the cards together. When he was done, he cut the cards with one hand, and pulled the top card off, flipping it between his fingers to show Harley the card. 

“Is this your card?” he asked with a smirk. 

Harley squealed in respond. “IT IS!” She clapped her hands giggling. “That trick never gets old!” 

Joker grinned, preening under her attention before he finally turned around, putting an arm up so that Harley could wiggle over onto his lap, the cards disappearing as if he had never had them. 

“Frost!! Come in, come in, old boy. Harley and I have been discussing your love life.” 

Frost had just taken a step further into the room and stopped short. “What?” 

“Well it's come to our attention that you haven’t been having any luck with the ladies Frost darling, so Harley and I have decided that we should help you out.” Joker gave Frost one of his better smiles. 

Frost’s eyes widened in horror, going from Joker and Harley on the couch to Bob by the oven where the big man had just finished putting batter into a pan. Bob looked sheepish and shrugged, which caused Frost to groan. “Bob…” He sighed, but Joker waved a hand at him. 

“Oh stop Frost, this is going to be grand! Harley, Bob and I have picked out three lucky ladies for you to go out with. Tonight is number one, a lovely lady named…”Joker froze, then cringed before he turned to look at Harley who picked up for him. 

“Her name is Ally, found her on tinder. You two are going to dinner and she is only…” Harley frowned, thinking before she brightened. “...23!” 

Frost gagged. “23?? What?” 

Joker quirked a brow, looking Frost up and down. “Though we really should do something about your look. That black suit, red tie combo you favor makes you look like a hitman.” 

Frost shook his head. “Wait, I don’t want to go on a date...” 

Joker and Harley both gasped loudly but it was Joker who spoke. “You don’t want to find true love? Or a good fuckbuddy!??!! What is wrong...wait, are you gay?” 

Harley giggled. “Well if you are, Bob and I…” 

Bob nodded vigorously as Harley continued. “...can find you a couple of a really hot guys to…” 

Frost put his hands up. “I’m not gay. I’ve just decided I don’t want to date anymore.” 

Again, Harley and Joker gasped loudly, and even Bob, whose eyes widened in surprise, looked upset. Frost looked between all of them. “I just...well I haven’t had good luck lately and just thought that maybe I should take a break…” 

Joker shook his head. “Oh stop Frost!! Brush yourself off and get back up on that horse. This will be great, won’t it pumpkin?” 

Harley nodded. “Yep, because this time you have Joker and Harley on the case!” 

Frost’s shoulders slumped as he groaned. 

* 

The first date. 

Frost wore a suit in a shade of orange gold that he knew would look better on Joker than him, but his date planning crew had insisted he wear it. He arrived at the park where Ally had told Harley (thinking she was speaking to Frost) that she wanted to meet, stating that she wanted some place open and safe. This was weird, Frost thought. A park? If she had said someplace like a grocery store parking lot, he might have thought that was normal, but a park, late at night in Gotham was never a good idea. But both Harley and Joker had dismissed the thought. (Of course they did, Frost thought, because the creepy things in the park were usually them...or Ivy.) So here he was, at a small park, in the dark. 

From where he was standing on the sidewalk, Frost could see the swing set where this Ally had wanted to meet. 

He sighed, the chilly night air making clouds of steam from his breath, and turned slightly looking over his shoulder. He could see the car, but he could also see the Boss and Harley trying to hide together behind a tree. Bob was still in the car, probably listening to his music. Unlike the Boss and Harley, Bob didn’t spy. 

Frost frowned, beginning to turn around and walk back, but Joker motioned with his gloved hand from behind the tree he and Harley were hiding behind. “Go on!!” Joker hissed. “Just wait for a little bit.” 

Harley hissed back. “Yeah!! Give her a chance to show up.” 

“If she doesn’t, we’ll just hunt her down.” Joker smiled brightly. 

Frost sighed and turned back around. He stared at the park for a few seconds before he decided to walk over and sit on the swing. He felt stupid as he sat down, but he figured the Boss and Miss Quinn wouldn’t let him leave until it was clear this Ally person wasn’t going to show up. 

He swung for a few minutes, trying to occupy his mind. The swing squeaked, but then he stopped. He thought he heard something coming from the park’s public restroom, a bang, then Frost’s phone went off. Frost pulled his phone out of his jacket pocket and saw that he had received a text from Ally. 

“I’m waiting in the bathroom, come on in.” 

Frost stared at the phone, then up at the park’s public restroom where he now noticed a urine yellow light was on. He thought that was weird because the restrooms should be locked up at this time of night, and went still. He could see the silhouette of someone’s head looking out the small window. The figure was too shadowy for him to tell if it was a man or a woman, but the figure stood there (probably on top of one of the toilets) then very slowly lowered themselves down. 

Frost’s instincts told him that something more than a little off. 

That was weird. 

He didn’t move when he received another text. “Get off the swing and get in here big boy.” 

Frost stared at his screen, stood up, and quickly walked back toward Joker and Harley. 

Joker frowned and leaned farther out from behind the tree. “Frost?” 

Frost swallowed. “Boss, Miss Quinn, I don’t think this is a real date.” He showed them his phone. Harley made a shocked gasp while Joker’s eyes narrowed, looking from Frost’s phone to the restroom just as another text came. 

“Where did you go? I have a surprise, come on in.” 

Joker growled. “The only creeper around here is me. I’ll be right back.” 

Harley touched Joker’s arm as he started to go. “Puddin, you want me to tag along?” 

Joker picked her hand up and kissed her knuckles, giving Harley shivers of pleasure. “Nah, you just take Frost back to the car. Daddy has some discipline to dish out.” 

Harley giggled as she watched Joker march over to the restroom. She sighed happily and linked her arms through Frost’s, who was staring back the way Joker had gone. “Come on Frosty. Let’s go get inside the car and warm up. I think Bob brought a thermos with tea in it.” 

When they got into the car, Harley rolled the window down and leaned out while Frost took the seat beside Bob (who was driving tonight). He was looking toward the restrooms, waiting when they all heard the sound of metal doors banging (probably the stall doors of the toilets) followed by a series of gunshots. The retorts rang out, quick four shots: BANG BANG BANG BANG! 

Frost jumped, but Harley giggled while Bob just continued to listen to his music. 

A few seconds later Joker came strolling out of the bathroom looking annoyed. 

Harley smiled when he was closer. “Hey puddin, what happened?” 

Joker sighed, walking around the car to slide into the seat next to Harley as she rolled the window up. “It was some creepy guy, naked, in a trenchcoat.” Joker shuddered and stuck his tongue out. “Yuck. Anyway, he won’t be catfishing anyone anymore.” 

Harley giggled happily, wrapping her arms around Joker’s shoulders and kissed him loudly on the cheek. “Look at you puddin--cleaning up Gotham.” 

Joker grinned and pulled her close. Harley laid her head on his shoulder, her hand on his chest, and smiled up at Joker as he turned his attention to Frost. “Oh, that’s me pumpkin, saving Gotham from itself.” He kissed her cheek before turning his attention to Frost. “Sorry about that darling, but tomorrow night should be better. I’m picking the girl!” 

Frost sighed. “Thank you Boss, but do I…” 

Joker frowned at him, a dangerous flash in his eyes. “Hush.” 

Frost snapped his mouth shut and turned back to settle in his seat. Maybe tomorrow night would be better? 

* 

Second date. 

Harley was dressed in fishnet hose, black and red mini-skirt, a red and black crop top with black leather straps that criss-crossed between her breasts, and over her exposed stomach. She also wore over her top a hip length fluffy, fake fur red coat, along with red and black knee socks with hightop red tennis shoes. She had pulled her hair into pigtails with red and black ribbons that bounced as she tilted her head to the side and frowned. “I don’t know puddin, a dominatrix?” 

Joker grinned at her, looking sure of himself. Harley thought he looked handsome in his grey slacks, a purple shirt, the sleeves of which tapered down before they turned to puff sleeves, a yellow and black checked vest that fit snug over his slender figure, with a green tie printed with little jester faces. His green hair was slicked back and he had a pair of purple lense glasses on the end of his nose. He looked over the top of the lenses at her and laughed at her. 

“A dominant woman is just what Frost needs. It’ll loosen him up.” 

Harley glanced at the bar, the outside of which was dominated by red neon light. The bar was called Lattes and Leather and Frost had just gone in a few seconds ago. Harley shook her head. “I don’t know, I think this might be too much for our old Frosty.” 

Joker chuckled. “It might be fun to watch though.” 

Harley narrowed her eyes at Joker, a grin slowly spreading over her face. “You picked this girl for a laugh didn’t you?” 

Joker gasped. “GASP!” he said out loud, putting his hand to his chest. “Harley, you wound me...and you know me better than anyone.” He giggled. “Of course I did! Now let’s get inside before we miss everything! Bob, you coming this time?” 

Bob was standing on the sidewalk after parking the car. The big man was dressed all in red tonight with a headband on his head sporting glowing red devil horns. The big man smiled and nodded, heading to the door. Harley and Joker saw a large, dark skinned, bald, muscular man wearing nothing but black, skin tight pants with leather straps over his chest for a shirt, standing in front of the bar’s doors, checking IDs and letting people into the bar, but when he saw Bob, his face broke into a smile. 

“Bob!! Hey man, long time no see.” 

Bob embraced the big doorman who embraced him back. Bob pointed behind him to Joker and Harley. The doorman’s eyes widened, clearly recognizing them and asked Bob. “There won’t be any trouble tonight will there?” 

Bob shook his head and the man sighed in relief. “Okay, go on in.” The man lifted the black velvet cord that blocked the entrance to let Bob in, followed by Joker and Harley. The man stared at them, clearly afraid. Joker grinned at the bigger man as he stepped by him, then jumped into the man’s face. “BOO!” 

The doorman jumped a foot, which sent Joker into a fit of giggles. Harley, who was holding his hand, pulled Joker along, giggling as well. “You are terrible,” she muttered before she let out a full laugh. 

* 

Frost had been in the bar for several minutes, looking embarrassed and uncomfortable as he stood at the bar with a drink in hand that the pretty, mostly naked bartender had said was called the Mistress. This was the kind of BDSM bar that was always shown as some underground place in the movies where you could only get in with a secret password or a key. There was a dance floor where people were dancing seductively (at least Frost thought the people thought they were being seductive) in black leather, latex, and even fur--you name it, they were wearing it, or in some cases, barely wearing anything at all. The lights that flashed while the music pulsed over the speakers were red and purple, making everything look like it was drenched in technicolor blood. There were people in cages around the room, people being whipped on one side of the bar and others being...well… 

He turned away and looked into the safe depths of his drink. 

Frost was wearing another suit more suited to Joker. (He has going to have to request on the date tomorrow night that he be allowed to wear his own clothing instead of Joker picking out his clothing for him. Miss Quinn may have thought he looked good, but Frost felt weird and uncomfortable.) This time the suit was dark purple, but with a yellow polka dot shirt in a rainbow of different colored polka dots, along with a simple black tie. 

He felt stupid. 

The woman he was meeting tonight was named Courtney. Joker had only shown Frost one picture of her, in which she appeared as a young, pretty blonde woman. That should have been a red flag, but when Joker had said she wanted to meet here, Frost hadn’t made the connection between the name of the bar and what it was until he arrived. 

But now he was here and he would have felt bad if he were to leave... 

That was when he saw her coming toward him. She was wearing a short, latex black dress with a high neck, a large cut out that showed off her cleavage, with a corset so tight around her middle that it gave her an exaggerated waistline. She wore sharp, high, shoulder pads and thigh high black latex fetish high heels. 

The woman smiled when she saw him, walking past a small pit where people were engaged in sex (right there in front of everyone Frost noted), and instead of carrying a purse, she had a cat-of-nine tails whip in her hand. 

Frost thought about turning and running, but she had seen him and he just couldn’t find it himself to be rude. 

* 

Joker grinned removing his glasses and shoved them in his pocket when they walked in. “Well this place is all kinds of interesting.” He smirked at Harley. “Wanna tie me up and punish me? I’m pretty sure I’ve been a bad boy.” 

Harley giggled, sliding out of her coat and checking it in at the coat check-in. “Ooh, I like the color. Wanna dance instead puddin? I promise I’ll punish you later, you bad boy.” She cooed the last bit and ran her finger over his red lips. 

Joker grinned at his wife and put his hand out to her. “With you sweets, always.” 

Joker and Harley headed onto the dance floor as Pretty Reckless’ “Hit Me Like a Man” started to play. Joker yanked Harley into his arms, his smile seductive as he pressed her body against him. 

He moved his leg between hers, causing her skirt to ride up her hips high enough that he could see the straps of her garter belt. He pressed one hand against her lower back, his fingers splayed around her rear, while his other hand pressed against her upper back, his fingers caressing the back of her neck. 

Harley draped her arms around his shoulders and began to move with the music, grinding herself on Joker’s thigh. Harley delighted in how the red and purple lights danced across his skin. It made Harley breathless looking at him. Joker’s eyes glowed behind his glasses and his smile made him look like he wanted to eat her. She groaned, leaning in to kiss him as she continued to grind against his thigh. 

Joker attacked her mouth, pulling her close. As her lips met his, he could forget about everyone around them--there was only her, her body, her mouth, his Harley. 

* 

“Hi--you must be Jonny.” Courtney held her hand out to him. 

Frost took her hand, smiled. “Yes and you’re Courtney correct?” 

She smiled. “That I am.” 

“Can I buy you a drink?” Frost asked. So far, despite the clothing and the bar, she seemed all right. Books and covers and all that... 

Courtney smiled. “I would love a drink.” 

* 

Harley rolled her hips against him as Joker moved his hands to hold her waist. The music had changed, but they were dancing to their own tune. He slid his hands up her sides, his eyes traveling down her body. He smiled at the way the skirt hugged her hips, the way the straps pressed into her skin, and at how her breasts brushed against his chest. Harley moved her hands slowly up his back, her forehead pressed against his, her lips hovering over his mouth. When she licked her lips, he felt a throb roll down his body. They moved slowly, dancing in a tight circle in a space just for the two of them, their bodies touching one another as they moved… 

The fun of watching Frost’s date was forgotten as they lost themselves in each other. 

Harley gazed at Joker with heat in her eyes. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, her hands going into his green hair just before she kissed him. Joker groaned, wrapping his arms tight around her to pull her close. His tongue gently twisted with hers. He loosened his grip on her, one hand sliding up her side to cup her breast, his tongue gliding along her chin to her throat. Harley moaned, arching back and trusting Joker to hold her up--which he did, his mouth on her throat, his tongue against her pulse. He bit her gently as he reached down, his hand sliding over her rear, down the back of her thigh to lift her leg up to his hips. 

Harley’s breathing became ragged and she leaned back a little farther. Joker dropped his hands to her waist, then locked his fingers behind her, bending his knees to support her as Harley spread her legs around him a little and pressed her pelvis against his, her hands on Joker’s shoulders, grinding herself against his hard erection, not caring that her skirt had ridden up; all she cared about was the feeling of his erection pressing between her legs, rubbing up against her swollen clitoris with only the thin fabric of her silk panties and his fine slacks between them. 

Joker smiled at her, his gaze hot, watching the way she rolled her hips against him, feeling the heat emanating from her skin, her breath, and the slight heaving of her breasts. He slid his hands up under her breasts, pressing his pelvis back against her. 

Harley licked her lips and moaned Joker adjusted his hold, rubbing himself against her, dragging his teeth over his bottom lip. His erection throbbed each time Harley rubbed against him until he finally grabbed her, lifting her off her feet. Harley giggled and wrapped her legs around his waist, her hands in his hair. 

Joker started to carry her off the dance floor. 

“Where we going puddin?” Harley asked playfully, to which Joker growled. “Some place with a firm surface, or at least a damn chair.” 

* 

Frost laughed, smiling at Courtney. 

So far she had been pleasant company. He learned that she worked as an accountant for Wayne Enterprises, had a shih tzu name Wally, and wanted to go on vacation to Metropolis. So far there had been nothing weird about her (besides the dress and the bar they met in) and Frost found himself starting to like her. 

Courtney shared a smile with him. The two of them were leaning on their elbows against the bar when Courtney playfully bumped his hips with hers. “Think you might want to dance?” 

Frost glanced out on the dance floor. He saw Bob dancing with some guy and Bob seemed to be doing some sort of ballet maneuver.... 

He spotted Joker carrying Harley off the dance floor… 

“Ah, sure.” Frost smiled taking her hand. 

* 

Joker carried Harley until he found a cushioned chair in a dark corner, not quite out of sight of anyone, but everyone in the bar was occupied with their own fun and were paying no attention to the clowns. 

Joker sat down and Harley pushed up on her knees, reaching down to swiftly unfasten and unzip his pants. Within a few seconds, she pulled him out, making a small wanton murmur of pleasure when she gripped him in her hands, the soft skin of his erection warm. She dropped one hand to the back of the chair pumping his erection with her hand, rubbing her thumb over the drop of sticky wetness that beaded at the top of his erection like a tiny pearl. She loved the fact that she could make him climax with just her touches, without ever needing to get undressed. But she also liked to draw out his pleasure, and thereby hers. 

Joker groaned, his eyes going partly closed as Harley continued to pump him, her grip firm and soft at the same time. His hands rested on her thighs, pressing his fingers into her legs each time she rubbed her thumb over the wet head of his erection, followed by a deep moan of pleasure. 

* 

Frost smiled at Courtney while they danced. He had his hands on her hips; she was moving her hips sensually under his hands. 

“I like this song,” he said trying to make conversation to distract himself from how nice her hips were. 

Courtney nodded. “Yeah. I love Lana Del Rey, but this song, “You Can Be the Boss” is one of my favorites.” She gave him a smile that promised much, a seductive smile that made Frost’s breath catch. “I’m all about being the boss.” 

Frost smiled. There was something about the way she said she liked being the boss that raised red flag, but he quickly forgot about them as she draped her arms around his shoulders and moved in closer to him. 

* 

Joker reached under Harley’s skirt and pulled her panties aside, holding them aside as Harley held his erection. She adjusted herself over him, sliding the head of his erection against her dripping wet opening, brushing him over her clitoris, which drew out a long groan from her. She rubbed him against her for a few more seconds, making Joker jerk with pleasure. 

“Harley...pumpkin...” he whispered heatedly. 

Harley smiled down at him, reaching out to brush her fingers through his hair with her free hand. Joker smiled at her squeezing her thighs. She gripped his shoulder and slowly slid herself down on his erection, feeling the delicious push as his shaft slide into her, evoking a deep shudder throughout her body. Joker hissed, grasping her thighs harder and arching his hips. He tensed with the pleasure of feeling Harley around him. She shared his hiss of pleasure until she was fully down on him, her body tightening around him. She held still for a few seconds, wrapping her arms around his shoulders, pressing her forehead to his, their eyes meeting. 

“I love you puddin,” she murmured before she began to roll her hips. “Puddin...” she purred again huskily, tensing and releasing her inner muscles as she moved. 

Joker grunted, holding on to her as Harley cupped the sides of his throat, kissing him deeply and with need while she moved, alternating between rolling her hips and pistoning movements, causing her to bounce on him a little. 

Joker groaned and held on, kissing her hard and holding her close. He felt her movements become faster and her breath become ragged groans as she tightened around his erection. He felt a gush of wetness from her, and his right leg jerked for a moment then he kissed trying to hold back. 

Harley’s movements became frantic. She rolled her hips while gasping loudly and arching her back. Joker pulled her close, burying his face against her breasts just as Harley came with a loud cry, drowned out by the music. 

Joker grunted, pressing her close and tensing, but feeling that pull and roll of her body against him, he came a few seconds later, muffling his own cry against her breasts. 

* 

Frost smiled at Courtney as they danced. He was actually surprised that the date picked for him by the Boss was going so well. He had expected some sort of trap, something that would make the Boss and Miss Quinn laugh, but so far he liked Courtney. She was smart, pretty, and a great conversationalist. He was just thinking about asking her about the BDSM thing when he turned around while dancing when Courtney suddenly smacked him on the rear with the whip she had; she didn’t just smack him once, but she gave Frost four quick smacks on the ass which caused him to issue a startled yelp. Courtney grabbed his shoulders from behind, followed by her saying over his shoulder. 

“Now--lick my boots.” 

That was the moment that Frost realized this was not for him. None of it. 

He turned around and stared at Courtney who was smiling at him, her whip held over her shoulder. 

“I’m sorry, Courtney. I have to go,” Frost said quickly just before he turned and fled the dance floor, looking for Bob or the Boss and Miss Quinn, anyone to get him out of here. 

He found Bob first. 

Bob was at the bar sharing a colorful drink that had smoke coming off the top of it with some man in a full latex bodysuit, with only his eyes showing. 

“Bob, I need to get out of here,” Frost hissed into his friend's ear. 

Bob looked over and frowned slightly, but when he saw the look on Frost’s face, he smiled and nodded. 

“Where are the Boss and Miss Quinn?” Frost asked turning around to look over the crowded bar for them. He saw Courtney talking to a very big man in leather pants and halter top. She did not look pleased. Frost shook his head. “Shit, shit…” 

Bob grabbed his shoulder and pointed. Frost looked across the dance floor and past the orgy pit to see Joker stepping out from a dark corner shoving his shirt into his pants while Miss Quinn came up beside him, adjusting her skirt. 

Frost sighed in relief. “Oh good.” 

* 

Joker sat in the back of the car with his arms crossed over his chest as Bob pulled away from the bar. “Well, I’m completely disappointed.” 

Harley nudged him in the side giving him a dirty look. “Not completely,” she hissed at him, giving him a significant look. Joker smiled at her, reaching across to lay his hand on her knee. “Well, there were parts of tonight that were spectacular.” He winked at her squeezing her knee at the same time, which earned him a pleased smile from Harley before he muttered. “Though seeing Frost get whipped on the ass had to be funny.” He chuckled at the thought. 

Harley nodded. “I would have filmed it! Then we could have watched it on repeat.” 

Frost’s complexion paled, but said nothing, thankful that the Boss and Miss Quinn had been so distracted with screwing each other than they had forgotten all about him and his latex wearing date. 

* 

Date number three. 

Joker, Harley, and Bob all sat around the kitchen table of their apartment over the hideout looking over Frost’s profile that Harley had made (with Bob’s help) on Tinder. The young woman’s name was Ecco. Harley pointed at the young woman’s profile. “Hey look at this. She says she has a marksman badge and a degree in anthropology, but she specializes in urban anthropology.” Joker made a face and made a motion of hanging himself with his tongue lolling out of his mouth, but Harley narrowed her eyes at him. “We have to be serious about this one puddin, this is our last chance to hook Frost up with a hottie and get him some sex. It’ll calm him down.” 

Joker sighed. “This is boring,” he declared with a longsuffering look at the ceiling. “She sounds boring.” 

Harley smiled. “Which means she might just be perfect.” 

Joker put his hand out for the phone. “Let me see what she looks like.” 

Harley handed him the phone with a picture of the woman in question. Joker twisted his lips around, studying Ecco’s photo. She was blonde with sort of sharp, mousy features. She looked dull and lifeless next to Harley, but so did all the women he had ever seen. None of them had any interesting traits about them, but that said, this Ecco did have something about her that made Joker think she might fit Frost. 

He handed the phone back. “Fine,” he said with a small shrug. “She’s fine.” 

Harley grinned, exchanging a wink with Bob. “All right. I’m going to text her.” 

* 

The face that Joker made looking at Frost had Harley in stitches, though she was trying very hard not to laugh too loudly. Frost had pouted about the clothing until Joker had given up and said that Frost could wear one of his own suits on the condition that he wore one of Joker’s ties and a lapel flower, but he still wasn't happy about not getting to dress Frost. 

Harley scooted closer on the couch next to Joker wrapping her arms around his arms and whispered against his ear. “It’s all right puddin.” 

Joker stuck his bottom lip out. “I just don’t understand Harls, I have impeccable taste! Why would he willingly want to go on a date looking like…” Joker waved a gloved hand at Frost’s back. (Frost was texting on his phone with Ecco which Harley thought was a good sign). “...that. It’s so boring! The best part of his outfit is the tie! Well and his shoes aren’t too bad I suppose.” 

Harley kissed the corner of his red lipped mouth. “Not everyone has your flair for fashion puddin. Frost just couldn’t handle it.” 

Joker frowned for a few seconds more before he nodded. “You’re right sweets. Not just anyone could pull off my fashion sense. Not everyone is built for the runway like me.” He grinned, turning and stealing a quick kiss from her lips. “At least you appreciate me.” 

Harley purred. “I do puddin. I love the suit tonight by the way.” 

Joker looked down with a smile, brushing his hand along his tie. He was wearing a red three piece suit with a black dress shirt and silver tie, while his shoes were a shiny black with dark red highlights. “You look like the devil himself,” she whispered. 

Joker laughed. “Pfft! The devil wishes he looked this good.” 

Harley giggled. “That’s true puddin.” 

Joker kissed the tip of her nose before calling out at Frost. “So, are we ready?” 

Frost turned around looking a bit pale. “Ah, you know you and Miss Quinn and Bob don’t really need to come with...” 

“Nonsense my boy!! Of course we do! What if you need to make a quick escape? Who’s going to shoot you out of the resturant??” Joker smiled. “You’re my best bub Frost, my chum, my cronie, my right hand man!! Of course we’re going!!” Joker stood and put his hand out, pulling Harley to her feet. “Besides, look at Harley!! She looks gorgeous tonight! I absolutely must take her out on the town.” 

Harley giggled and did a spin. Tonight she wore sparkling black shorts with a black sleeveless blouse and a red corset that had a long, floor sweeping back half with a pair of black Laduca boots. 

She wore her hair down in soft and loose waves. 

Frost looked troubled, but Joker waved him off. “Don’t worry, it’s the Iceberg Lounge Frost.” 

Frost sighed. “Yeah, yeah, you’re right Boss.” 

He knew he didn’t have a choice. The Boss and Miss Quinn were coming regardless. 

* 

Bob waited in the car tonight. Since he had been doing most of the driving, Bob had opted for a chauffeur-like outfit--including a black and white tutu--with a chauffeur's cap on his head and a t-shirt that was screen painted to look like a tuxedo. 

When he saw the trio of them coming out of the hideout, Bob waved with a big, bright smile. 

Frost sighed again. It seemed that everyone was happy with this continuing set of disasters but him. He had gotten to text Ecco a handful of times after she was chosen for him and so far he liked her. She was smart, knew her way around a gun, liked a lot of the same movies he liked, loved the same foods… 

God, he hoped she didn’t show up with a whip! 

* 

Frost entered through the front of the lounge while Joker, Harley and Bob went through Penguin’s more discreet entrance saved for the criminal underground of Gotham. He knew that the Boss and Harley would be watching, which made him nervous, especially after the last two dates, but he was willing and hoping that Ecco would be just boring. Nothing weird or dramatic, just a boring, safe date that would cause the Boss and Miss Quinn to lose interest in his dating life and leave him alone for a while. 

He did appreciate the Boss’s and Miss Quinn’s concern. He knew that they only cared about a few people, themselves, Bob, Batman...and him. No one else in all of Gotham, in the world, mattered to them. Frost smiled a bit and squared his shoulders as he walked up to the young woman who held the registration book. 

* 

Penguin was waiting for Joker and Harley when they stepped into the area reserved for criminals (and those who wished to partake in illegal gambling) in the Iceberg Lounge. He was dressed, as always, in a black and white suit with tails. 

Bob waved at Pengy only to disappear a few seconds later when Lark came out of nowhere, grabbed the big man’s hand and leading him over to the craps table. 

Harley giggled. “Hey Pengy!! Looking sharp!” 

Oswald smiled at her. “As are you Harley dear, looking stunning.” His smile fell a little as he regarded Harley’s companion. “Hello Joker.” 

Joker pouted at him. “Really Pengy. No, ‘You look hot Joker? I love how your ass looks in those pants!’” He frowned at Penguin. “Nothing?” 

Oswald sighed. “Well I suppose you do look nice tonight. I like the red instead of your usual purple.” Oswald narrowed his eyes. “This doesn’t mean you’re going to be killing anyone and don’t want the blood to show on your clothing?” 

Joker made a face. “Pshaw! You know I don’t care about a little blood Pengy! Nope, Harley and I are just here to enjoy dinner and spy on Frost’s date.” 

Penguin grinned. “Harley said something about Frost having a date. Nice to see the boy getting out there.” 

Harley nodded. “This is the third one this week; hoping this one is the winner.” 

Penguin motioned for them to follow him. “Well, I think I have the perfect spot for the two of you to spy on him.” 

Joker laughed and smacked Oswald companionably on the back. “Good man birdie, good man.” 

* 

Frost’s eyes widened when he saw Ecco sitting at their table. She had her ash blonde hair up in a messy bun and was wearing a simple black dress. When she saw him, she stood up smiling. 

“Jonny?” 

Frost held his hand out to her. “Ecco?” 

She took his hand, giving him a firm shake. “Yes, can I say you look better than your photo!” 

Frost blushed. “So do you.” 

They both took their seats and within minutes they were talking as if they had known each other forever. 

For the next hour Frost and Ecco talked, laughed and got to know each other without anything strange happening--and notably without the Boss and Harley swooping in. Frost felt his heart do a funny little skip. This felt different than any other date he had ever been on. He felt there might be a real connection with Ecco. 

He began to feel something he hadn’t felt in a while concerning his dating life. He began to feel hopeful. 

Maybe this time, with the help of his Boss, Miss Quinn, and Bob, he had really found someone. He didn’t want to jinx it with too much hope, but Frost smiled at Ecco who smiled right back at him… 

Yeah, things were starting to look up Frost thought. 

* 

Penguin had seated them at a table next to a dividing curtain that looked out onto the main dining room area with a view that had Frost and Ecco smack in the middle of their line of sight. 

Joker took a sip from his wine glass, his eye to the small gap in the curtains, a frown on his pale face. 

Harley smacked his arm. “Come on, give me a turn. What’s going on??” 

Joker’s frown became more pronounced as he finished off his wine and set the glass down without looking back to make sure he didn’t miss the table. “I think they’re getting along.” He huffed and sat back from the curtain. “Well, that’s just boring.” 

Harley giggled at him and moved closer so that she could look through the gap, only to have Joker grab her up and place her on his lap. She wiggled happily getting more comfortable before she looked out the gap in the curtains. She could see Frost leaning toward Ecco, who was leaning toward him, the remains of their dinner on the table. They were speaking quietly to each other, leaning close. Ecco had moved close enough that her lips were almost touching his ear, and her knee had to be bumping his under the table. Frost looked happy and relaxed. He even reached out and lay his hand close enough to Ecco’s that their little fingers were touching. 

Harley gasped softly. “I think this might be the one puddin! Oh, they look so good together!!” 

Joker shifted her on his lap a bit and leaned his head next to hers. They both stared through the gap in the curtains at the oblivious couple. 

Joker chuckled. “Well, I suppose it’s cute.” 

Harley glanced sideways at him. “Now don’t be jealous puddin. You have me, shouldn’t Frost have someone too, someone to cuddle with at night? And if we’re real lucky, someone to come on jobs with him while he follows us around?” 

Joker grinned at her. “I suppose you’re right, my delectable peach.” He nuzzled her shoulder and neck causing Harley to giggle, dropping the curtain. “Maybe he would stop being so damn awkward when we have sex in the back seat.” 

Harley giggled, turning around to face him, snuggling close. “Oh now, don’t expect miracles puddin. Frost is still gonna be Frost.” 

Joker wrapped his arms around her and smiled, laying his chin on her shoulder. “Yeah, I suppose you’re right. Frost being Frost is what makes him so much fun.” 

They both laughed together until Joker captured her mouth in a kiss.


End file.
